My girlfriend’s mother just bought a phone. No, it’s not the new iPhone X, or the unannounced (as of this writing) Google Pixel 2. It isn’t a Firefly or an iPhone 4, or anything you would really expect a mother to buy.

It’s a Caterpillar S60.

I’ll forgive you for not immediately knowing what the hell that is – I had to look it up, and I read tech blogs all the time. Turns out, it’s a shock-resistant, fall-resistant, water-proof (I can only imagine Caterpillar’s engineers saw recent iPhones, et al. and said, “water-resistant? Ha! Let’s allow SCUBA divers to call for a pizza”) phone with – and this is, by far, it’s coolest feature – a thermal imaging camera.

“Look, Evan, when would you, or anyone else, really use a thermal camera? Like, really?”

Good question!

Personally, I would probably only ever use it to take (presumably) hilarious selfies with my cat, but I think my girlfriend’s mother will get a whole heck of a lot of use out of the industrial feature. Which brings me to my suggestion:

If you have a phone that can take thermal images, you have free license to walk into a bar (or other establishment) and make terrible puns, like…

“So, who’s the hottest person in here?”